apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
