I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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