like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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