I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
