I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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