Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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