I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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