My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
