i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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