I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
