it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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