i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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