i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
