how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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