It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
