I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
