all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
