he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize