Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
he fucked my hip out of place.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
