How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
