party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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