I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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