i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
found the other keg... it's in the tree
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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