I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
