let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
why do cheetos always look like penises
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
