You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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