You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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