Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
