So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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