Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
