just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
