At least make sure they are 18
Why
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
