Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
