well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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