Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
