Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
