I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
