If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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