four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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