yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
