I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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