There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I didn't notice because vodka
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
