It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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