His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
