how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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