yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
