I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
