If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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