Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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