Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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