She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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