I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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