Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
