so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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