You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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