who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
